1. Keep it Simple.  Be realistic about your holiday commitments.  If you are over-extended, something will give…usually your temper.  Know your party (and alcohol) tolerance.  Have a party plan that works for you. RSVP to the ones you can enjoy and, when possible, avoid the ones you won’t.  Arrive late, leave early, and bow out when you are not enjoying yourself.  
  2. Avoid Unnecessary Conflicts. There will be conflicts, some necessary, some not.  Put your energy into the necessary conflict.  Avoid the small conflicts.  Pick your battles and a conflict resolution method you can use when (not if) you get frustrated or angry.  
  3. Schedule appointments with your trusted outside professional. Your therapist, your doctor, your financial planner, your spiritual adviser, your mediator, and/or your lawyer are all professionals who can benefit you. Going in to the holiday rush with appointments set will ensure their availability.
  4. Surround yourself with "trusted and safe" people.  Have your "go to" person on speed dial for those times when your self control fails and the biting words just keep spilling out of your mouth. 
  5. Share your experience, strength, and hope.  Find those who have similar life circumstances and may be struggling. Tell them in a general, caring way, about yours. It is a wonderful feeling when you see how your experience, good and bad, can benefit others.